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In the Backyard

April 20, 2011

This guy? Oh, this guy. He is wearing me out.  If I didn’t have such light hair already, I’m fairly certain you’d be seeing all of the gray hairs coming out in the same way they’re multiplying like weeds on my husband’s head.  This boy is sweet and smart and adventurous…and has no fear and is stubborn and defiant and full of himself and is incessantly pushing the boundaries.  I feel like I did over a year ago when he was just really getting into thing, but didn’t know better, because we literally cannot let him be out of our sight for more than 2 seconds or he has gotten into everything.

I have been feeling guilty about the copious amounts of impatient I have been with him lately.  He talks in the phrasing of saying the same word at least 20 times until you repeat it back to him multiple times – and God Forbid you don’t understand him. The game feels like it can go on for hours until you manage to figure out what he’s saying.  I know that if I were a Perfect Mother, I would behold the lovely that it is to watch this sweet little one learn to speak and express himself.  I do stop and think about it, usually after he’s in bed. But right now, it’s just plain wearing me out(Olivia reference anyone?)

I feel like a big time jerk for all of this.  Like there’s something I’m clearly not getting as a parent because he suddenly has all of this energy that there isn’t enough time in the day to use up.  He’s always been happy and energetic, but recently it just seems like he’s brimming with the energy – in physical feats, words, tricks and overall demeanor.  His emotions are so much more extreme and the anger and frustration make my heart ache for him learning to feel such difficult things.

Part of this, I know, is being on the verge of more verbal skills that are going to let him express more of the emotions he feels and communicate his needs. He’s working on it and we’re all working on it to give him, and all of us, the vocabulary to be able to express what he needs.

But a big part of this is this physical need for release that he seems to have and it takes us to the backyard every day.

I remember reading a while ago on a blog, I think Clover Lane but I can’t find the post, that little boys are like puppies that need to be run.  I remember laughing at the post and thinking that I could definitely see how that could be true, but now I feel it.  I only have one boy to compare, so I have no idea if it’s  a boy thing or just a this child thing, but he needs it.  I can try to do all that I want/need to do and we can all wind up frustrated, annoyed, angry, impatient in a morning or I can just give up on all that I “need” to do and take the kids outside to run – rain or shine. He doesn’t care. Today he didn’t even want clothes. He came to me with his coat and boots and we went out, thankfully just missing the drizzle of the morning.

6 Comments leave one →
  1. April 21, 2011 6:08 am

    this post hits home… boys are so different than girls! so much so, I could’ve never imagined what it would be like to raise a toddler boy. Mine is only 19 months old, but we’re on the brink of what you’re going through… I remember all those phases with my daughter – not being able to verbalize what their thinking, curious about everything, but something about that testosterone with boys!

    the amount of guilt that comes with motherhood is amazing, isn’t it?

  2. April 21, 2011 8:47 am

    Oh my… my little monster is right there with yours. If it rains one more day I might loose my mind! We NEED to get outside.

    I feel guilty for getting frustrated. Then she decides to climb the TV stand and I forget about being guilty and go back to feeling crazy.

  3. April 21, 2011 10:56 am

    I hear ya! I just need some place that is open with room to roam but totally contained and has nothing he can eat! How much grass is too much to eat? My son is only a week away from 1! I can’t fathom my lack of patience at 2.

  4. angelika05 permalink
    April 21, 2011 8:43 pm

    Oh my Lord in heaven…I so remember this stage. Nolan still has more energy than we know what to do with. At Nick’s age is when he would tell us, “Need to run mama.” And he wasn’t kidding. I see other people with less energetic kids and I feel like they don’t *get* it – you know? It’s not that he is bad or ADD (he listens so well at school) he is just rough and tumble and ALL boy. What you should do is bring Nick to Colorado and we can lock him in a room with Nollie and let them bounce off the walls together. 🙂 Just a thought.

  5. April 21, 2011 8:44 pm

    And um, P.S. his strawberry blonde curls are to DIE for.

  6. April 21, 2011 9:41 pm

    Oh Lillian, I can totally relate! Sully is so much like this. We thought Theo was a handful but Sully has proven to be nutso! 😉 It really is quite absurd how tired and drained I am by the end of the day from literally prtecting this child’s life. He knows no boundaries.

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