In the Backyard
This guy? Oh, this guy. He is wearing me out. If I didn’t have such light hair already, I’m fairly certain you’d be seeing all of the gray hairs coming out in the same way they’re multiplying like weeds on my husband’s head. This boy is sweet and smart and adventurous…and has no fear and is stubborn and defiant and full of himself and is incessantly pushing the boundaries. I feel like I did over a year ago when he was just really getting into thing, but didn’t know better, because we literally cannot let him be out of our sight for more than 2 seconds or he has gotten into everything.
I have been feeling guilty about the copious amounts of impatient I have been with him lately. He talks all.day.long in the phrasing of saying the same word at least 20 times until you repeat it back to him multiple times – and God Forbid you don’t understand him. The game feels like it can go on for hours until you manage to figure out what he’s saying. I know that if I were a Perfect Mother, I would behold the lovely that it is to watch this sweet little one learn to speak and express himself. I do stop and think about it, usually after he’s in bed. But right now, it’s just plain wearing me out(Olivia reference anyone?)
I feel like a big time jerk for all of this. Like there’s something I’m clearly not getting as a parent because he suddenly has all of this energy that there isn’t enough time in the day to use up. He’s always been happy and energetic, but recently it just seems like he’s brimming with the energy – in physical feats, words, tricks and overall demeanor. His emotions are so much more extreme and the anger and frustration make my heart ache for him learning to feel such difficult things.
Part of this, I know, is being on the verge of more verbal skills that are going to let him express more of the emotions he feels and communicate his needs. He’s working on it and we’re all working on it to give him, and all of us, the vocabulary to be able to express what he needs.
But a big part of this is this physical need for release that he seems to have and it takes us to the backyard every day.
I remember reading a while ago on a blog, I think Clover Lane but I can’t find the post, that little boys are like puppies that need to be run. I remember laughing at the post and thinking that I could definitely see how that could be true, but now I feel it. I only have one boy to compare, so I have no idea if it’s a boy thing or just a this child thing, but he needs it. I can try to do all that I want/need to do and we can all wind up frustrated, annoyed, angry, impatient in a morning or I can just give up on all that I “need” to do and take the kids outside to run – rain or shine. He doesn’t care. Today he didn’t even want clothes. He came to me with his coat and boots and we went out, thankfully just missing the drizzle of the morning.