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Moving Slowly

December 22, 2011

It’s been such a strange week around here.  Sickness making the rounds and general strange unsettling happenings in the world around us seem to be keeping things moving at a slower pace and forcing me to keep things in perspective. We’ve done almost nothing holiday-related this week except to have our friends over for a Christmas brunch. We’ve forgotten to open Advent calendars and take paper chain countdown links off of the chain. We haven’t made any cookies that we planned, we haven’t driven around to look at any lights. I’ve played a little too much Words With Friends(Thanks, Alec) and we’ve watched entirely too much tv while sitting on couches with buckets in our laps. Kids have just been off, even when on the mend from sickness, and I’ve felt beaten down at the end of each day.

Do you know that I feeling I’m talking about? The one that makes you want a nap when the kids take a nap? And makes you feel like you’ve literally been in a fight of sorts at the end of the day from all of the push-and-pull with words while the little ones work out their independence using you as a tool? That combined with sickness and someone who works in a nearby store being robbed at gunpoint in the parking lot while we unknowingly stood just down the street talking. My mom’s friend watching her daughter’s house burn to the ground while she was babysitting her grandchildren. A friend on Facebook posted that her friend was shot and killed by her husband because she was leaving him, leaving behind 3 young sons. I told all of these to a friend and she said her brother just saw someone get robbed last week. And my husband told me that a co-worker just had someone break into their house this week.

I’m not usually a doom and gloom kind of girl.  I have a degree in Media Studies and, as a result, tend to stay away from news of all sorts. It’s not to stick my head in the sand, but because I know I can’t change any of it and, for me, filling my head with so much awful creates unnecessary fears and defensiveness. This stuff lately, it’s all just so much sometimes.

But at the end of the day? Down time is kind of just what we needed. No plans, no places to be. Time to fold laundry and simple meals of toast and jam and apples and cheese rather than a frantic last minute Christmas scramble. I’m thankful for that. Hopefully we’ll be all rested up and ready to celebrate holidays joyfully and we can put this week behind us.  I’m feeling especially thankful.  For the food on our table, for family nearby, for all of our safety, for a husband who loves and respects me and our children, for jobs that allow us to make choices for our family based on what we want.

This is certainly not how I thought I’d be leaving this post before the holidays. But, sometimes real life just happens, you know? You have to roll with the punches. I thought a lot about just staying quiet and laying low for a bit, but it’s cathartic to write it all out. We see so much carefully guarded and planned content on blogs, they deserve to keep it real sometimes. And the celebration of Christmas? The promise of a fresh, new year? They all sound like a breath of fresh air right now, as does this post.

Many many good thoughts to you and yours this holiday season.  Hope that you enjoy the small things that make life beautiful as you celebrate with your loved ones!

4 Comments leave one →
  1. December 22, 2011 12:19 pm

    I’ve been reading your blog for a few months now and love your candor. I write that way myself and rarely plan my content and aside from hiding my kids’ names and images, I don’t guard anything (mine are older and have firmly told me to keep them out of it). Life is full of the real stuff and we can’t sugar coat it just to make our writing wittier, hipper, more well… sweet. It’s all part of the big gooey ball that makes US real. Nice job and I hope you find the time to do some of those other things that, at this stage in parenting, make you and them smile.

    You certainly shared a lot of goodies, but the picture you picked for the card is a real gem. 🙂 Happy holidays.

  2. December 23, 2011 10:05 am

    Thank you, I needed that. My week has not gone as planned. I am hopelessly behind, and just thinking of it makes my stress level climb.
    Sometimes as un-Chrismassy as it sounds I wish I could have a couple simple decorations, a FEW presents under the tree (instead of too many), no obligations like parties, driving around to look at lights, programs, events, etc…and peace.
    I keep trying to remind myself of what is important and the reason for the holiday. The thing I hate the most, having to remind myself. I wish reminding wasn’t necessary. I will once agin do my best to keep it simple.

  3. January 1, 2012 3:39 pm

    I left my blog for a bit because I didn’t know if I *should* keep it real or just keep the cheerful guard up. I was feeling a little lost in the sea of perfectly happy blogs, even though I wanted to write so much. Thank you so much for these words. Thank you for reminding me why I like writing in the first place. Hope your holidays were wonderful.

    • Lillian permalink*
      January 5, 2012 12:39 pm

      Hope yours were as well:) Glad to hear that you’ve felt the same – it’s so nice to know we’re not alone. I love that about connecting with blogging!

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