‘Crazy-busy’ is a great armor, it’s a great way for numbing. What a lot of us do is that we stay so busy, and so out in front of our life, that the truth of how we’re feeling and what we really need can’t catch up with us….
It’s like those moving walkways at the airport — you’ve got to really pay attention when you get off them, because it’s disorienting. And when you’re standing still, you become very acutely aware of how you feel and what’s going on in your surroundings. A lot of our lives are getting away from us while we’re on that walkway.
That article was floating around a few months ago and it stuck with me. We’re “busy” right now, but not necessarily unbearably busy and certainly nothing compared to how jam-packed I know many lives are. This week was supposed to be my first full week that wasn’t completely packed with things to do, but somehow I managed to fill up every single day.
Do you beat yourself up for that kind of thing? You tell yourself that you’re not going to do ______ that you have a habit of doing all the time. Then when you do it (of course) you beat yourself up for it. It’s so ridiculous, it’s like I set myself up, but I still try because I always figure that if I’m at least trying it will keep things in my mind and I’ll at least try to do a bit better one thing at a time.
For the first time since October, next week is completely unscheduled for us. We still have swimming lessons and normal back and forth to school, but beyond that there’s nothing and it feels so good I could just squeal! It means prioritizing going for a walk with a friend who I have seen so much less than I’d like to recently and it means I’ll have time to get some photo work done in the evening without feeling guilty and it means that we can do a thing or two during the week with friends and play outside more and go to the library if we feel up for it and if we don’t we can have the time to just be at home and take care of seriously neglected projects and needs around here that always seem to take a back burner to immediate needs. There I go filling the week right up again, but it’s nice to not have any set plans and discard things if it doesn’t feel right. Nowhere that we absolutely need to be at a certain time and time to be home and relax and cook some meals and do some much-needed cleaning.
How’s your January going? Did you have the great warm weather over the weekend like we did or are you somewhere with zero degree temps keeping you inside with cabin fever??